Tomorrow
by ProtegoNox
Summary: When James and Sirius come back from detention, Sirius lets slip more than he ever intended... slash, implied RLSB, rating overly cautious.


It was a cold, snowy night at the beginning of February and all students at Hogwarts were fast asleep. All students, except for two trouble making Gryffindors, who were trudging up the last steps to their dorm, where their beds awaited them.

Or not.

Sirius Black slammed the door shut with excessive force after his best friend, James Potter, had passed through.

"I fucking hate detention, mate," he huffed indignantly. Both students were in their last year at Hogwarts and while James was Head Boy, detention was just another one of those activities both teens took part of.

"I don't exactly fancy them much, either," sighed his friend with the unruly hair. These two Gryffindors, nicknamed Prongs and Padfoot for their illegal Animagi forms, were from a group of four friends called the Marauders. Remus Lupin, the sensible werewolf, and Peter Pettigrew, their loyal friend, were both absent, for two very different reasons. While Peter, or Wormtail as he was nicknamed, visited his girlfriend, Remus, or Moony, was out answering the call of the full moon.

Which left James Potter, or Prongs, alone to deal with Sirius's temper.

"I mean, what's this bloody nonsense about labelling love potions because it's St- Valentine's Day next week? 'Sharing the love' and all that junk McGonagall was spewing?" Sirius gesticulated wildly.

"I don't know, Padfoot," yawned James as he plopped on his bed, rubbing his tired eyes to stay awake a little longer.

"What's so great about love, anyway?" Sirius growled in frustration, pacing. James said nothing as Sirius dropped next to him, looking at the Head Boy expectantly. "Come on, James, I asked you a question!"

"What?"

Sirius groaned. "I said, and I quote, 'What's so great about love, anyway?'"

James sat up, running a hand through his already untidy hair, thinking. "It's definitely not just about the snogging and the cuddling. Well," he grinned playfully, "sometimes it is. But mostly, it's... it's knowing she'll be there at the end of a rough day, know what I mean?"

"Yeah," Sirius said quietly, his throat constricted painfully. "Yeah, I know what you mean." He could relate to that, and the idea that he could relate to love scared him.

James turned over onto his side to face his friend, wondering what Sirius was thinking about to have subdued so quickly from what would have been a very heated argument. "Why this sudden question, Padfoot?" asked James. "As far as I know, love doesn't interest you. One night stands, on the other hand..."

"Love doesn't interest me, Prongs," replied Sirius forcefully. He sighed and rolled onto his back, running a shaking hand through his tangled mass of black hair. "At least, not in the way you feel love."

"What's that supposed to mean? I feel love the way everyone else does," he frowned, pushing his glasses higher on his nose. "Butterflies in your stomach, goose bumps..."

"You just don't see it like me, then," Sirius said firmly.

"What? In purples and blues?" joked James.

"You're an idiot," grunted Sirius.

James removed his school robes and grabbed some pyjamas, heading for the washroom. "Whoever this bird is, she's got to be something if she's got you asking questions about love," he chuckled. "Promise I'll get to meet her."

Sirius took a deep breath, and then another. Just as James reached for the doorknob to leave, Sirius yelled out, sitting up on his bed; "What if it isn't a bird?"

James stopped in his tracks. The room went unnaturally still as Sirius held his breath, awaiting his friend's response. "Wha-?" the Head Boy choked out.

Sirius eyed James carefully. "Well, what if, theoretically speaking, I did have a romantic interest, but it isn't a bird?"

"As in... a bloke?" spluttered James.

_Said like that, it sounds like a fatal disease,_ thought Sirius. "Obviously."

James walked back towards his bed and sat on it slowly. "Wow. That's... well, that's just... theoretical?" he said, left eyebrow raised.

Sirius cleared his throat. "Not really."

"Wow. That's... well... are you sure? That you're... you know.."

"Come on, James, it's not hard to say," said Sirius, amused at his brown-eyed friend's discomfort.

"That you're a poof!" blurted James as Sirius nervously barked with laughter.

Sirius calmed, stretched out on the bed and thought of that one particular bloke. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm pretty sure."

"Wow. Well, that's..."

"Does it bother you?" he inquired coolly, dreading the answer.

"NO!" yelled James hurriedly, thrashing his hands wildly. "Of course not, Padfoot, you know me better than that... it's just... well, unexpected, really."

Sirius shrugged and they fell into a comfortable silence.

"Padfoot?"

"Yeah?"

"How long have you known?"

Sirius thought about it. "Dunno. I think I've always kinda known, but ignored it, you know? Sometimes I'd catch myself checking out blokes, get completely freaked out and then I'd rationalize that it was normal to compare bodies. Figured it out in November."

"Is that why you weren't up for anything? I just thought it was family troubles or something again," said James, voice full of wonder. He frowned and a small blush crept up his neck. "You haven't... well... done the deed with a bloke, have you?"

Sirius lifted his head and raised a sophisticated eyebrow at him.

James reddened and nodded slowly. "Right."

The grey-eyed Gryffindor chuckled. "I haven't, Prongs."

"Oh?"

"I want to and I will eventually," he grinned cheekily. "But I haven't." He enjoyed watching James squirm.

"Right," squeaked James, drowned out by Sirius's loud, barking laugh.

"Do you plan on telling Moony and Wormtail?"

Remus's boyish face appeared in Sirius's mind, distorted by shock and disgust, as it was every time Sirius considered telling his werewolf friend about his sexuality. Those breathtaking amber eyes would never look at him the same way again. "Not Wormtail. I don't think he'd take it very well. Besides, he wouldn't understand; it'd be too much of a shock for his small head."

"And Moony?" prodded James.

Sirius hesitated. "I've tried to tell him, both of you really, but it's not exactly easy to bring this subject into a casual conversation."

Remus was all Sirius thought about lately. He daydreamed about Remus, talked to Remus, pretended to do homework while Remus actually worked, stayed out of detention to sit with Remus... except for tonight, of course. _Bloody McGonagall and her uptight arse,_ he raged inside. _Well, I didn't exactly have to fight Snape right under her nose. Now why did I do that again?_

Sirius tried to remember why he had been so **angry** with Snape, more so than usual. _Ah. Right._ Anger filled his body as he recalled what had been said. Snape had called Remus a poof and Remus was the last person that needed more things to worry about.

"Imagine that; saint Lupin, a gay werewolf!" Snape had hissed in Sirius's ear, loud enough only for Remus and James to hear as well. "Now wouldn't that be the day all your dreams come true, Black!"

Sirius hadn't even known what hit him. One moment, he was carrying Remus's books (they were very heavy, too heavy for Remus to carry so close to full moon) and the next, he was slamming his fists as hard as he could into Snape's ugly face while James tried to hold him back. Sort of. He remembered the dull crack of a broken nose with satisfaction. But then he remembered Remus's scarred face; mouth hanging open, eyes wide, frantically looking at the scene in front of him when McGonagall had scurried towards them and given both Sirius and James detention that very night. He hadn't even looked at Sirius at all. Not even a look.

The full moon was up high in the sky now, laughing down upon Earth and the pain she was putting his best friend through. He dug his fingers into his bedspread.

James coughed to get his attention. "So, uh, anyone tickle your fancy yet?" he asked as nonchalantly as he could.

The blood pumped faster in Sirius's veins. "Do you really want to know?" he replied lazily, trying to maintain a semblance of the 'cool and collected' Sirius.

"I wouldn't ask if I didn't want to know, Sirius," said James seriously.

"True," agreed Sirius. He breathed deeply to control himself, but the words spilled out of his mouth unbidden. "There is... this one particular bloke."

"I knew there had to be," laughed the messy haired teen. "Sirius Black does not waste any time." Sirius grinned ruefully at him and raked a hand through his black hair. James looked at him expectantly. "Come on, mate! Tell me who this lucky bloke is!"

The grin faded from the least noble of Blacks. "I hardly consider him lucky," he growled moodily.

James quieted and stood from his bed. He padded towards Sirius and sat at the footboard. "You're not taking this as well as you're pretending, are you?"

"Not exactly, no!" Sirius shouted, standing. He paced back and forth between their beds. "How can I? I'm a fucking homo, James! A fucking _homo_! Is everything supposed to be rainbows and glitter and bloody feminine clothing?"

"Padfoot-"

"Well it isn't! It bloody isn't tight pants and painted fingernails! Like I'd be caught dead wearing make-up, either," he laughed humourlessly.

"Padfoot, listen-"

"James, if anyone finds out, I'd be the laughing stock of the entire school! Not just the students - sure they'd have a field day - but the teachers as well! Even Filch would command more bloody respect than I would! All because I prefer blokes over birds!"

"Come on, mate, it's not that-"

"It's not that bad, you say? At least you know Evans is straight 'cause she went out with that Longbottom fellow a few months back! And you're making progress; she _blushes_ when you flirt with her now. _Blushes!_"

James pinched the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Look, Sirius, I'm trying to be supportive, but this isn't exactly a picnic, what with you screaming like a Harpie."

Sirius stilled and inhaled deeply, but having ranted enough, he sat abruptly onto a nearby chair. It was proof of their newfound maturity that they weren't already indulging in a spot of Muggle duelling. "I know," sighed Sirius tiredly.

They stared each other down. "When are you going to tell him?" James asked.

"Tell who what?"

"Tell Moony you're into men."

"Ah." Sirius lowered his eyes. James raised his eyebrows; it wasn't like Sirius to lower his gaze for anyone. _Something about that high-society business must have stuck in his head during his childhood_, thought James, amused.

"It's harder with Moony," Sirius answered softly, startling James from his thoughts.

"Because...?"

Sirius stared at James, trying to tell the Head Boy what he couldn't - what he wouldn't - voice out loud.

James's eyes widened in understanding and he staggered. "You... you lo-... you and Remus..." He sat on his bed, facing Sirius. The grey-eyed Gryffindor remained silent. "Wow," breathed James. "Just... wow. Then again, it couldn't have been anyone else."

Sirius had to agree that was true. While all Marauders had their weakness, Remus's was just a bit more obvious than theirs, especially during the week of the full moon. It had endeared Sirius right from the start.

He was always extra careful around Remus then. Making sure the common room was quiet so Remus could study, helping Remus plan his study sessions with first years, writing the prefect duties' schedule for Remus, bringing Remus hot chocolate before bed and always, always trying to make Remus laugh. The latter was Sirius's favourite because Remus's eyes would light up and the corners of his mouth would twitch before the low chuckles, that he had evidently been trying to conceal, escaped his thin, pale lips. If Sirius was lucky, Remus would grin, revealing sharper canines that would mesmerize him and caused Sirius's hand to crawl of its own accord under his sheets in the dead of night and-

"Padfoot."

Startled, Sirius shook his head to clear it. James laughed at his friend's dazed expression. "Back from the land of daydreams?"

"Yeah," grinned Sirius.

"While you were lost in thought, I've been thinking," said James. "I really think you ought to tell Remus as soon as possible." He lifted a hand to halt Sirius's protests. "If not that you... like-him-like-him, at least about you being..."

"Gay?"

"Yes, that."

"It's not hard to say, Prongs. Repeat after me: gay."

James ignored him. "Remus came clean to us about his furry little problem years ago. Don't you think it's your turn?" Sirius said nothing and James continued, "Besides, it must be killing you to keep this a secret. Merlin knows you'd love another reason for your parents to hate you."

Sirius smirked at the idea of his mother's infuriated - yet pure bloodedly sophisticated, of course - reaction to his preference to men. The idea alone made him very tempted to go down to the Great Hall in the morning and proclaim his homosexuality at the top of his lungs while doing a flamboyantly _gay_ dance of some sort on the table. Maybe even use the Sonorus charm to make sure the Slytherins down in their dungeons heard.

But then Remus popped into his thoughts, looking up at him in disgust and disapproval like he had earlier that day. _Completely horrified at the idea of a poofter friend,_ Sirius thought grimly.

"You alright, mate?" asked James, concerned.

"Yeah. Yeah, m'alright."

"Good. I'm going to bed then, if you're done sharing."

Smiling, Sirius looked out the window at the full moon, cursing himself for landing them in detention on this particular night. _Snape knew,_ he thought angrily. _Snape knew tonight was a full moon._ He cursed Snape for hitting so close to home; Sirius would love nothing more than to have Remus return his feelings. However, he didn't dare get his hopes up. He was terrified his heart would spontaneously combust if Remus were to reject him openly. He wasn't foolish enough to believe Remus was gay AND loved him back.

"Goodnight Prongs," said Sirius, not turning away from the window.

"Goodnight Padfoot. Don't stay up too late." James placed a comforting hand on Sirius's shoulder. He followed his friend's gaze towards the shining orb. "He'll be fine."

"Right," he answered absently.

Sighing, James disappeared behind the curtains of his four-poster bed while Sirius, lost in thought, stared at the moon.

_I could be out there right now,_ he raged. _I'd be keeping him company! Helping him... I'd be useful..._

He stood and undressed, confident that no one would walk in - not that it would bother him. James was asleep and Peter out with his pudgy Ravenclaw girlfriend. Remus was... in a lot of pain... probably very lonely... howling his pain to the moon...

Sirius glanced at his watch. Only a few hours left before sunrise. Remus will spend that whole day in the Hospital Wing, recovering as always, with Madam Pomfrey tending to his numerous self-inflicted wounds. Sirius will bring him his Charms book as usual, or maybe change it up and bring the Transfigurations homework. He will nick fresh fruit from the kitchens, preferably a pear, and maybe an apple, but never strawberries. Remus got tired of eating chocolate and he disliked strawberries.

Sirius slipped under the covers and partially closed the curtains. He wanted to watch the moon before falling asleep.

James was right, after all. Remus had told him, all of them, that he was a werewolf. Granted, they had cornered him and demanded the truth, but Remus had come clean. Sirius owed Remus the truth as well.

_Besides, maybe... just maybe... Remus might kinda sort of feel the same,_ thought Sirius, yawning. _There have been... looks here and there... and touches..._

_I will tell him._

_Tomorrow._

* * *

**A.N.:**_ I know, I'm sorry it's been so long, but this pretty much wrote itself. I'm a new addition to the Remus/Sirius fanbase, and I couldn't help myself. As I said in the summary, the rating is overly cautious for a few choice swear words and one teeny weensy sexual reference that I couldn't not put in there...! ;) Thanks to JO, as always, for being a wonderful beta._


End file.
